‘Love Analytix,’ a column all about approaching love with logic over emotion, reviewed the past year and saw there were a lot of lessons about love and relationships to embrace and learn. Now that we are a couple of weeks into the new year, people aren’t just making, but breaking New Year’s resolutions. So, including a few resolutions that help deal with love and relationships may not be a bad idea.
Considering everyone is all about self improvement early in the year — male or female, single or involved, searching or content — these are the top 10 resolutions that we hope can turn into commitments regarding love in the New Year.
10. Stop Living In the Past
Your ex-wife cheated seven years ago, or maybe that guy left you with a baby 16 years ago - don’t let the past rob you of your present. It’s time to change your perception and accept the situation so you can move forward. Living in the past will always cloud the promise of a brighter future.
9. Understand and Respect Differences
Men and women are not the same, and never be. The things that makes us different are the same things that attract us to one another. So respect each other even when you don’t understand each other. No one said love would be easy.
8. You Are What You Attract
If you don’t’ understand why you date loser after loser, or gold digger after gold digger, stop all the blaming and realize you’re giving off a certain energy to have those types flock to you. When you carry yourself in a way that shows what you won’t accept, the type of person you really want will begin to come your way.
7. Take Your Time
Finding love, falling in love, or maintaining love - all require patience. Don’t rush love whether your searching for it, or if you feel you’ve already found it. Time was invented so everything doesn’t happen all at once.
6. Forget About Potential
Don’t concern yourself with a person who likes to tell you what they are “about to do.” Look for those who are truly doing something. Loving someone because you can potentially see them as your dream guy or girl, only makes you tolerate what you hope will change. Those very same things you “tolerated,” will later be the things you possibly resent, but ultimately have to accept.
5. Learn How To Communicate
Females have a tendency not to say what they mean, and the fellas usually don’t say enough. Often, couples and daters have to learn how to fight through these barriers of communication in order to build a foundation that will last. If you want to be about it, you must talk about it.
4. Learn When To Let Go
When things get bad and the pros no longer outweigh the cons, don’t hold on. Especially if it’s just because you don’t want to be by yourself, or if you feel too much time has been invested. So what?! Holding onto someone that isn’t for you is imprisoning yourself, and not giving you a chance to find the love you deserve.
3. Put In Work
Nothing worth it comes easy, and relationships are no exception. The the things you do in the beginning of a relationship when it’s sunshine and rainbows, has to be the same things you do to maintain it. If you are not willing to put in work to sustain a relationship, you will never have a fulfilling one.
2. Love Is Never Enough
Tina Turner said it best, “What’s love gotta to do with it?” Ultimately finding and being in love isn’t just about love. Respect, trust, sacrifice, compromise, timing — the list goes on. If you’re in love, or you want love, remember love is an action word, not a feeling.
1. Love Yourself
Whether you’re in or out of a relationship, know you won’t ever truly be able to love someone else until you learn how to love everything about yourself. Superficial happiness is found in someone else, real happiness is found within you.
Cee-Lo has released great music since 1995, and 16 years later it seems like he’s finally getting his due. With five Grammy nominations for his latest album, the eclectic singer/songwriter went from rapping in the group Goodie Mob, to headlining the super talented duo Gnarls Barkley, to taking the stage solo with “Lady Killer.”
Cee-Lo discusses with INVITE ONLY why being different is never intentional, and how happy he is that his music is no longer an “acquired taste.”
@INVITEONLY: This proves to be a big year for you with five Grammy nods, were you at all surprised?
GREEN: I was a little surprised, because I wasn’t fully aware of when the eligibility thing starts and stops for the Grammy nominations. So I didn’t know if I was even eligible or think my album was in on time. I was out in London when I found out, and it was such a compliment. I was working at the time so I wasn’t really able to celebrate. I think once it’s all over I’ll be able to look back and assess how wonderful this time in my life was.
@INVITEONLY: For someone so out of the box, is a Grammy the ultimate musical recognition for you?
GREEN: I think so because of the circumstances — it’s all of your fellow artists, peers, and predecessors that are recognize you — so it’s quite a compliment. But am I going into the studio saying, ‘let’s write a song that will win me a Grammy?’ No, it’s not my motivation. Music is alive inside of me, it’s all of me, it’s the thing I need. It’s far too much energy and ability to internalize, so it’s meant to share. As long as I’m doing what I’m meant to do, I am very content. A Grammy nomination, a win, record sales, celebrity — they all are gratefully appreciated additions that come along with the territory. Music first and then the accolades, and I have to be concerned with first things first.
@INVITEONLY: Why do you think people are calling you a breakout artist when you’ve been doing this for years?
GREEN: I can see what they mean, and of course it’s a compliment. Cee-Lo Green is my actual self, Gnarls Barkley is an alter ego. They both are me, but the wonderful, unique, and strange things I’ve gotten away with in my career, with the exception of Goodie Mob, this is the most normal people have ever seen me. So maybe they are seeing and accepting something new. When things come back around and you have solo success, like I have this time around, it can’t be denied. Therefore you’re able to see my music in its proper light, and I’m not trying to sound pumped up or any kind of way. I was meant to only do one album and now here we are starting on the third, as well as another Goodie Mob album.
@INVITEONLY: How do you describe your music?
GREEN: Melodramatic. (laughs) My music has always been easy to associate with alternative genres, but it doesn’t close me off to any one thing. My music can be the alternative to alternative music. It’s not a competition for me so I can co-exist in whatever genre they like to place me in. My music is about quality — it’s my first concern. I don’t worry about being singled out as one single thing, I’m not trying to be different for the sake of it, I just am. That can’t be ignored.
@INVITEONLY: Do you feel like music and/or artists are trying to be different just for the sake of it?
GREEN: I don’t think music is trying to be different, but people are trying to get in where they fit in. There can only be one number one at a time, and whatever songs are beneath, inadvertently emulates the bar. It’s simple enough to say but not easy to do, so it’s like those who go to Ivy League schools and those who go to community college. You wish for everyone to be educated and have equal opportunities, but the masters are for the masters, and the beginners… they got to start somewhere. But you don’t start next to me, and convince yourself it’s cool. Remember you’re dealing with the Lady Killer. Ow.
FIND THE ORIGINAL STORY HERE: http://www.essence.com/entertainment/hot_topics/five_questions_for_cee-lo_green.php#ixzz1AGU9gZOG
I-O Thought of the Day: Fear less, hope more. Cry less, smile more. Talk less, do more. Hate less, love more.